Meandering in Mesa: January 2022

Sunday, January 23, 2022

My April fools day 2021

I had my first chemo treatment on April first! As it turned out, it was an appropriate date. There were four preliminary meds given which went as expected. Then they started the Paclitaxel. It’s fairly common to have some reaction, chest tightness and red face but it usually goes away when the drug is stopped. Then after a little wait, they can restart the infusion without problems. My reaction started as soon as they began the infusion but was quite severe and didn’t go away when they stopped the drip. They repeated the steroid and Benadryl and then called paramedics in case I needed intubation. I remember feeling my lungs fill up so that each breath was smaller. I was also shivering violently. Rod wasn’t allowed to be with me because of COVID so he had gone to a store. The nurse called him, asked how far away he was, then advised him to come as quickly as possible. He knew that meant there was a big problem so he came as fast as he could. He was Speeding down the freeway in a panic when he saw the spire of the Gilbert Temple. He said he heard a voice say Slow down. As he did, he was comforted. He arrived as the paramedics were getting me on a gurney to go to the ER. Needless to say, I didn’t get chemo that day.

It was decided I would receive the Carboplatin and then get radiation. The radiation dropped my white count so low that my chemo was postponed almost every time. We limited our interaction with people , but still managed to have some adventures.

I got back some pieces I’d made in ceramics

We went to Dad’s grave with Mom and Bonita. We decorated it for Veterans Day.

We didn’t get to go to Yellowstone for our family camping trip and family portrait as we’d planned (COVID) so as an alternative family portrait I made matching masks and had each family send their Covid family picture, with and without masks and put them in this clear frame, one side with and one without!

Darling grandkids and a niece and her kids sent flowers they made and letters of love!

For a couple of years I’ve made extra effort to call my sons just to visit. It’s a great joy to me that they are willing to just chat with me. The daughters always have done this. Since my diagnosis they all have called and visited more…a blessing I cherish!

Wednesday, January 19, 2022

There is nothing like a serious illness to make one value time spent with loved ones! Dear Alicia came over several Sunday evenings and shared music and spiritual thoughts with us!

I am still a little surprised and very impressed with my daughter’s musical skill! She has managed to become a wonderful musician in spite of her teacher (me).

My darling Seattle daughters came to visit for a weekend. I was so touched! It was such a joy and comfort to feel their love and hugs!

I have cherished my son’s hugs too! They are so warm and reassuring! I’m so blessed!

My dear kids got together for dinner at Garcías! It was delicious and so fun! How did we end up with family that love each other and truly enjoy spending time together! It was wonderful!

We continue to clean out closets.

His letterman’s sweater

Bell bottom pants…”stayin alive”.

It’s off to a niece who is a current MHS student. She loves it!

I especially enjoy the garden…things growing.. it helps to remember the cycle of life!

And they smell so good too!

We tore out the arch into the living room as well as a couple of feet of wall. It gives us a much more open feel! This necessitated redoing the floors so Rod decided to get our bedroom done first so that there would be a clean fresh place if I need it!

Dear Todd came and helped! We’re so blessed!

I love how it looks!

My darling sister put together a gift for me, a chemo bag with contributions from my kids and Mom! I am so touched!

It was just full of thoughtful gifts!

We decided to share out the drama hats. They sure look darling on our girls!

I was impressed that Weston wanted one! Artful dodger?

A few days after the surgery, I had a port put in to make chemo easier. The procedure was no problem but the dressing actually tore my skin. I think the surgery bothered me less, at least after I got home.

A plastic chamber is put under the skin and a catheter is threaded up to the neck and inserted into an artery then threaded into the heart. Aren’t you glad I was asleep for the surgery?

Sunday, January 9, 2022

2021….there is more than just cancer to remember!

It's been nearly a year since my last post. It was actually a good year over all, in spite of the challenges of chemo and radiation. We truely felt God's love and the prayers and support of all our family and friends.

I got my cancer diagnosis at the end of January. The hardest part of this whole thing, even after a year, was telling our kids! We asked the local kids to come, adults only, in Sunday dress, for a family meeting. We were told that Scott asked if this happened often and Alicia told him never. We asked the Seattle kids to join us on video chat, and even asked Geneva to get a sub for a church assignment so they could all be there at once. First we prayed. It was a bit like a church meeting. Rod talked about some of our end of life plans and told them where papers were. Then I told them about my diagnosis. I feel how much my illness hurts and affects them and wish there were some way to avoid it, or make it easier for them. The fact is, it can’t be done! And that pains me. To quote Princess Bride…"Life is pain! " Apparently it’s part of the plan, not an exception to the rule or a mistake. After the bad news, Rod told the kids we’d get through it with courage, faith and dark humor. That’s what we have done! It was a very tender experience with our kids. I truly felt their love. I particularly remember each other expressing their love and support. Todd mentioned that he had heard cancer described as a disease of love because one had time to mend any bridges, express love and make preparations to say goodbye. I agree. The problem is...it’s never done. From here on out, every symptom or complaint renews the anxiety. And it’s slow, every test leads to new questions with more after that. It’s just how it is!

We'd had a visit to Seattle planned since we missed Thanksgiving due to the pandemic shutdown. When they called to schedule my oncologist appointment, The first available was during our trip. I almost felt I was supposed to cancel our it, but Rod said no, 1 week wouldn’t make a big difference but seeing kids would! He was right , of course! I’m so glad we went!

Although it was cold and snowy!